i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
