he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
