Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote

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(281): View more from Texas

What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I guess God knew he was going to be bald...

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(831): View more from California

Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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(785): View more from Kansas

It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon

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(404): View more from Georgia

He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

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(703): View more from Virginia

protesters in toronto definately have the best pot

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?

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(702): View more from Nevada

Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?

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