I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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