If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
