The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
