too bad you live with your parents still
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize