weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
