in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I die, sorry about rent.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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