I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
