i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
