im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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