I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Let's get the cat blown out
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
