hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize