Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
