Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
