I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
