Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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