on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
