Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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