His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
