Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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