Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
