I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize