were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize