I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
