I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
kristin has been a bad kristin
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
