My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize