Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
