I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
