i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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