so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
