i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
