the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
