Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
