chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's official drugs can't kill me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You pole danced in your parka.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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