i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Less talking, more tequila
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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