i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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