i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
