Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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