Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
