How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
