"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
