k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize