get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My bed smells like the plague
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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