whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
