There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
