Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So squirting runs in the family.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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