I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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