he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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