So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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