I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize