I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
