Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
