I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it's great music for shaving your balls
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
