Just fell off a train. Bad.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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