All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
