She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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